8 Lamest Shark Attacks

Who doesn't love a shark attack? Anybody who's seen the eight clips below. You know who we blame for these desecrations of cinema and/or shark attacks? Steven Spielberg. If Steve had been happily toiling on Jaws sequels for the last thirty years, these travesties may not have happened. Steve bails out of the shark genre, and what do we get? Spring Break Shark Attack. Steve, enough with the aliens and the holocaust. Don't waste our time with crappy Old Indy. Get back to sharks, where you belong.


8. "Shark Attack 3: Megalodon"

After viewing this clip, Shark Attack 1 and 2 just shot to the bottom of our Netflix queue. We think we'll check out the Uwe Boll oeuvre first.


7. Zombie Vs. Shark



Why would a zombie eat a shark? Zombies eat brains. Fish don't have brains! Zombies are idiots.



6. "Jaws: The Revenge" Banana Boat Scene



From Jaws: The Revenge, also known as Jaws 4, or In The Eighties, Michael Caine Would Act In Anything.



5. "Spring Break Shark Attack"




When we went to spring break, we didn't see any sharks, but we did suffer a horrifying attack of crabs. CRABS! Who's with us?

4. Sam Jackson In "Deep Blue Sea"



From Deep Blue Sea, or, as we like to call it, Smart Sharks.

3. Jabberjaw



Not really an attack, not really a shark for that matter, but we wanted to take this opportunity to remind the Curly Howard estate that it's never too late to sue.

2. "Baywatch" Shark Attack



The Hoff can't swim faster than a shark? WTF?

1. Exploding Shark From "Batman"



Dark Knight? Shark Knight is more like it. Are we right, people?