Woman Sings 'Muskrat Love' To Guinea Pig-- Crazy, Or THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ON EARTH?

via Molly Lambert

Look at our new girlfriend. HEY YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH! She knows that's not a muskrat. It's her pet guinea pig, Simon. WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO SING WITH A FILTHY MUSKRAT UP NEXT TO YOUR FACE, YOU SON OF A BITCH. When Simon becomes our step-pet, we will take him to county fairs and baseball games. This woman only wants to sing and dance, and you want to criticize her because she didn't get the GENUS correct? Are you an effing SCIENTIST? Why don't you try to FEEL something, you MACHINE! This is a beautiful woman with a beautiful voice and a beautiful guinea pig and one day we'll all be a family and vacation in Panama City Beach. So if you got something to say about her, say it to us first, and then pick your teeth up off the ground and go learn something about art.

Wow, we got through that whole post without saying MILF once.