Alpacas Having Sex Will Make You Want To Never Have Sex Again

Yes, fellas, this is what you look like when you have sex. The awkwardness, the buck-toothed "Oh" face, the embarrassing eagerness, the terrible hair. And yes, whatever lady you conned into laying with you is about as responsive as Ms. Alpaca here. Probably smells about the same, too.

But you know what? Alpacas don't give an eff. They're gettin' theirs. Alpacas GOT to get theirs. And if you asked an alpaca, they'd say they're the sexiest alpaca in the room. They're going to have hot'n'fluffy alpaca sex no matter what. The key, then, is to have the self-confidence of an alpaca. And get it on like a baboon.