Video Proves Animals Will Not Stop Humping, They Just Won't

We've shown you alpacas having sex-- gross, but at least it happened in the wild. We've shown you the baboon car hood sexathon-- again, out in the woods or jungle or wherever baboons live, that's to be expected. We even showed you a turtle penis-- technically, this was in the turtle's home (his shell), although we have to say his penis strayed past the property line of decency.

But this compilation of Five Animal Lovin' Fails is one step too far. When animals come into our human homes, where we eat human food and try to keep the carpets streak-free, and try to COPULATE with our jackets or wives or balloons or other pets, they are crossing some sort of good-manners barrier. Barrier-crossers! But, instead of asking the animals to leave in a well-earned-but-self-righteous Dixie Carter-esque speech, these animal owners get out the video camera. And laugh. "Hey look, a rabbit f*ckin' a dawg!" "Hey, that critter's tryin'a f*ck my wife! Awesome!" We're going to go shower and join a church. A church that hates animals.

Like ducks? Like sex? Like songs? Then check out this hilarious video-- "Sex With Ducks" by Garfunkel and Oates.