Winged Cats, Angry Sheep, Bo Obama: The 8 Most Terrifying Animals Of The Week

We don't know what you did to God, dear reader, but he is none too pleased. Your cheesing off the Supreme Being is the only explanation we can think of for the hordes of frightful critters he's unleashed upon us this week. You're being punished, and taking us along for the ride. Thanks a lot.

Seriously, we've come across scary animals before, but what we've witnessed this week takes the scary animal cake. Vengeful sheep! Hideous goats! Hungry gators! Winged cats! Pestilence! Mutations! Portuguese water dogs! There is so much animal horror that, as a last-ditch, John-Connor-esque effort to save humanity, we have prepared this list of The 8 Most Terrifying Animals Of The Week. Please read, warn others, and apologize to God. Can't hurt.

8. Bighorn Sheep Loses Damn Mind, Attacks Truck

This bighorn sheep will not back down. If we were political cartoonists, we would draw this sheep with the words "poplulist rage" on his horns and draw the truck with the words "U.S. Auto Industry Bailouts" on it, and then maybe we'd win a Pulitzer. But we write for an animal blog, so instead we'll just type, "That sheep is scary!"

7. Chinese Winged Cats

Man, China, you are on a roll. You terrify us with the Olympics opening ceremony, you own most of our national debt, and now you startle the world with your horrifying feline mutants. We haven't seen something this simultaneously cute and unsettling since Haley Joel Osment finished puberty.





6. Alligator Smashes Watermelon With Nightmare It Calls Mouth

Alligators want to murder you. They are half raw power, half sadistic cruelty, and half hungry for fingers. That's 150 percent gator, buddy, and it's MapQuesting your house right now.



5. Ugliest Goat Will Haunt Your Dreams

Satan plays this video on an eternal loop for his imprisoned souls as he rapes them with fire. (Satan really enjoys YouTube.)



4. Bed Bugs Are All Over Me, Man! They're All Over Me!

Bed bugs are everywhere, especially on you, and they thirst for human blood, especially yours. You're gross! And infested. Your pajamas are like Carl's Jr. for bed bugs. Pleasant dreams, bug-ass.



3. Puss Caterpillar Is Like If David Cronenberg Ran The Muppets

Uh-uh. Hell naw. What the eff is this thing? According to the appropriately titled list Most Disturbing Animals On Earth, it's also called a pussy moth (heh) and is found in Maryland, Misouri, Texas, and, we're presuming, the blistered caverns of Hell itself.




2. Obama's Dog Goes All Sean Penn On Press Corps

President Obama may have wowed the Middle East with his smooth-talkin', but Bo Obama doesn't hide behind charm. No, he lets the press know just what he thinks of them with his razor sharp fangs. Let's see the mainstream media continue their attacks when their microphones are in Bo's digestive tract.



1. This Cat



This cat was put on earth by a vengeful God to scare the crap out of you. What's that? You brought a friend along so you wouldn't get frightened? Guess what. This cat ate him.