Caught On Tape: Monkey Thief Terrorizes Texas (Or At Least One Garden Supply Store)

A Dallas-area plant store suspects a monkey and its human accomplice of stealing hundreds of dollars worth of merchandise. According to conjecture, and grainy security footage, the alleged monkey allegedly scaled the fence, then handed off the goods to his nefarious Man In The Yellow Burglar Mask waiting on the other side. You know what this means. Monkeys are coming for our ferns and ugly concrete statues!

Clearly there is a culture war in the animal kingdom. Cats are playing concertos, dogs are embracing travel, but monkeys? They're hanging out with (presumed) meth heads and stealing sh*t most people wouldn't want in the first place. When did monkeys get so trashy?

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